


Tit for Tat

by YT_chan



Series: OiKageYear 2019 fics [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Crack Treated Seriously, Established Relationship, Humor, Idiots in Love, M/M, Married Couple, Married Life, Non-Graphic Violence, Oikage Year, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Revenge, kageoi, my attempt at it anyways, oikage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-13 07:40:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20578907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YT_chan/pseuds/YT_chan
Summary: Oikawa is the one who starts it, so technically, it's his fault he ends up at the hospital by the end of all of this.February - Revenge





	Tit for Tat

**Author's Note:**

> Is it too late if I just- *dumps this here and runs*  
Enjoy! (its crack, dont expect too much)

Kageyama and Oikawa have been living together for a good couple of years now as a married couple. It’s the perfect happy ending to their rocky start and neither would have it any other way. But if there was one thing that would never change in their relationship, it was how they liked to mess with the other person. Innocent teasing and playful fighting were all under the category of ‘having a good time’. However one day, Oikawa gets a brilliant idea. It begins a perfectly happy streak that neither knew would end in chaos.

Pranks.

How could he not have thought of this before? Sure they’ve probably done a few here and there, but not anything like a full blown, serious prank. Of course, it was all for the laughs. So one day, while Kageyama was out at the gym and picking up groceries, Oikawa methodically set about his plan.

And when Kageyama came home, Oikawa had to give it his all to not burst out laughing at his priceless reaction.

“Where’s all the food?”

Kageyama questioned, swivelling on his heel to pin his glare on Oikawa. Oikawa knew how much Kageyama cherished his food, he was either eating food or going crazy from hunger. There was no in between for him. So doing this prank was a big risk, but in the end, they’d probably just have a good laugh because of it.

Oikawa shrugged, feigning innocence, and Kageyama a fool, fell for it. Solemnly, like a kicked puppy, he packed the shopping away. The sight of it would’ve been heart-breaking to Oikawa if he himself didn’t know where the food was, but the fact that he did meant that instead of holding back tears, he was holding back his giggles.

They came out though, eventually. Startled, Kageyama stared wide-eyed at Oikawa who was doubling over and smacking Kageyama’s arm in a fit of hysteria.

“Oh Tobio- your _face_!”

“What the hell is this about?”

Oikawa, still laughing, pulled out a bag from the living room which Kageyama hadn’t seen yet. And there, all the food was there.

“Y-you just got pranked! I hid the food,” trying to control his breathing, Oikawa carried on explaining, “I hid the food to see what your reaction would be. And boy, it was priceless.”

Kageyama didn’t understand how someone could do something so cruel, if it was someone else and not Oikawa who had just done this, he would’ve jumped them by now. He got really worried.

“Tobio, I was just joking, OK?”

Kageyama nodded, but Oikawa could see his angry pout that clearly meant, he didn’t think any of it was funny. He ruffled his hair, before giving him a kiss on the cheek to make up for the fact that he upset his husband. And it worked, Kageyama ruffling Oikawa’s hair in return.

* * *

Although most people would say at this point to ‘let bygones be bygones’, Kageyama wasn’t like most people. That day when he came home to empty cupboards instead of them being filled with the food he was hungry to eat, it was the scariest moment of his life. He wasn’t going to let Oikawa just get away with such a heinous crime. So he had a plan. He was going to prank him back.

So while Oikawa was in the shower, Kageyama went to Oikawa’s personal stash of hair products and began his science experiment.

Oikawa knew something was up when Kageyama was purposefully avoiding eye contact with him, like he was hiding something. He didn’t comment at the time though, being in only a towel, and he quickly chose some clothes to wear and dried himself. He sat by the mirror, and from the corner of his eye he could see Kageyama watching him. Now he knew for certain that Kageyama was hiding something. He still didn’t say anything should. And that was the worst mistake of his life (apart from that one time he accidently confessed to everyone about him and Kageyama’s night life).

He opened the cap of one of the bottles on the drawer, putting a generous amount of the cream into the palm of his hand. Then with practiced ease, he gently applied it to his locks, only to realise something. It all slowly dawned on him, Kageyama’s suspicious behaviour, the consistency of the cream, and lastly… the smell.

“Is this mayo?!” Oikawa shrieked, stumbling out of his seat and stomping his way to Kageyama’s smirking smug face to slap it off.

“You-!”

Kageyama held out a hand to stop him, and if you looked closely, you would see his shoulder shaking from the laughter ready to burst out.

“I have one thing to say to you.”

“What?”

“You just got pranked.” And then he burst out laughing.

* * *

Oikawa had started something very dangerous. From that first day with the food missing, to the next with mayonnaise replacing Oikawa’s hair products, both Kageyama and Oikawa kept finding more and more opportunities to prank each other. And with each time, the stakes went higher and higher.

Now with a rally of at least twenty pranks, Oikawa was determined to end this streak once and for all. And to come out on top. After long hard days of scheming up the best possible way of settling this, Oikawa came up with the perfect plan. So, on a day where Kageyama was out, Oikawa went by to the shops and purchased his costume. He came home and then waited until an hour before Kageyama would come home, then, he put on the bought clothes, checking that he looked fit for the job. He wasn’t done yet though, and he went into their shed to search for the crowbar he knew they had somewhere. Grabbing a big bag too, he quickly went about to set up the scene: turning off the lights, opening a window, and placing their valuables in his big bag, it all looked as if a burglar had broken into their house.

Oikawa knew for sure that this would be the best prank, and when Kageyama would come home, he would pretend to be that burglar running from their house. He couldn’t wait to see the look on Kageyama’s face when he saw that it was just Oikawa. That would make him never forget about all those horrible pranks he pulled on him, it would be the perfect revenge.

Ψ(^ｗ^)Ψ

Kageyama pulled up the car in their driveway, noting how the lights were off meaning that Oikawa was probably having an early night in. He dug out his keys from the bottom of his jacket pocket, the sound of them jingling in the quiet hour a little eerie, but familiar. It was then that he noticed the wide open window. Oikawa never liked to open that window, or if he did, he avoided opening it too much otherwise the flowers he planted there would get ruined. But there the window was, bending the stalks of the flowers and disturbing the petals so that the buds were a little bear. Suddenly extremely cautious, he stepping inside the house, hoping that what he was thinking hadn’t really happened. He switched on the light, and in that moment saw that his fears had become reality. The ornaments on the shelves were all missing, that could only mean one thing.

Heart racing, Kageyama bounded up the stairs and towards their room, only to bite his lip hard when he saw that Oikawa wasn’t there. Now in their room, he could also see that the place had been turned upside down, all the even remotely expensive things snatched. But where was Oikawa? He ran into each room, calling out for his husband in fear that whoever had come into to burgle their house had hurt Oikawa. He eventually came back down and into the kitchen, and it was then that he saw him. The burglar. He was climbing out of the window, huge bag slung over his shoulder like Santa. Except this was nothing like a magical children fantasy.

The burglar and him locked eyes, but all Kageyama could see was red.

Ψ(^ｗ^)Ψ

Oikawa rejoiced inside his own mind - the plan was working. Although he did feel a little bad at how much Kageyama was panicking, he still kept his head forward and focused on the task at hand. He could hear Kageyama coming back down the stairs and entering the kitchen. Oikawa knew it was time to start running. Hauling the bag onto his back, he started climbing out of the window, and on cue, Kageyama saw him.

And he looked…

Mad.

Crazy mad.

In that instance, Oikawa knew his life was in danger. And he started running. Not just for the prank.

He almost got out, he was so close. The bag had hooked onto the handle of the window and his one leg was still not out. He could feel Kageyama grab onto it, yanking it and sending him tumbling back inside. Not even getting a chance to recover from the rough landing, Kageyama launched himself at Oikawa, throwing punches with a deranged look in his eyes.

“Stop! It’s m-“

Oikawa had to tell him, he had to tell him it was him _now_ or he wouldn’t see the light of day. He tried tugging off his mask in between Kageyama’s punches, but during his fall it must have gotten wedged somewhere. He couldn’t even move his head around. Now in a genuine state of panic, he frantically thought of a way to get out of this situation. Then the idea struck him.

Their matching wedding rings! Oikawa was still wearing his ring, if he could just show it to Kageyama, that would be undeniable proof that he was Oikawa. Sure that he was bruised head to toe by now, he slipped off his glove.

“It’s me!” He panted, hand shaking as he showed Kageyama his hand. “Look at the ring! You recognise it, don’t you?”

He watched Kageyama closely, the way his eyebrows relaxed slowly, his breaths coming out longer, the tension leaving his body. It worked. Oikawa winced as he tried to get himself up, but a hand to his chest shoving him back stopped him. Oikawa looked up, confused. His heart stopped. Kageyama was livid. He was ready for murder.

“You stole my husband’s ring!”

Yep. Oikawa was a goner.

* * *

“How was I supposed to know that was you?!”

Kageyama was visiting Oikawa at the hospital, who had fractured ribs and bruises all over his body. Luckily Kageyama wasn’t being charged with anything, except for the hospital bill.

“What kind of prank is that anyway?”

“I’m not talking to you about this.”

Kageyama’s shoulders sagged, his voice softer when he spoke.

“Are you mad at me?”

Even through his swollen eye, he could see Kageyama staring at him earnestly. He smiled, reaching his hand out for it to be taken by Kageyama’s.

“Of course not, you were just worried about me, weren’t you?”

Kageyama nodded, a sigh so blatantly full of relief Oikawa couldn’t help but kiss him.

The only thing he feared more than Kageyama’s rage mode was the life of any burglar who ever crossed paths with his husband.

That, and pranking Kageyama.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to point out any errors! (I didn't proof read this ^-^)


End file.
